It's hard...

This is my husband...isn't he cute?  Jake and I dated for several years before getting married.  We were still dating here...

Still dating here too...we were at a friend's wedding.

Our wedding day!  It was such a great day that started with rain and ended in the most gorgeous sunset!  The wedding was a very special time for us and it was intimate with only our immediate family attending.  (The ceremony was held at a state park in NY near the Finger Lakes.)

This is us last summer...I was pregnant in this picture! 

Why am I taking this walk down memory lane about my hubby?  Marriage is hard.  I listen to others and I get very frustrated when they act like a marriage is this thing that just "happens."  My husband is my best friend, but like any relationship, marriage requires work to make sure that it remains healthy.  We have to put each other first and maintain love in situations where we want to be upset or angry.  Marriage is worth it.  I would never trade my husband, not even for chocolate.  When I said my vows I meant forever, even when he's being a bugger.  When he took his vows he meant forever, even when I'm being unreasonable.  (I know, me unreasonable?)  I'm looking forward to what God has for me and Jake.  I know that I have this wonderful opportunity to spend life's great moments with my best friend, and that is something special.

Confession...

     My husband and I are part of a new church in Erie.  It has been a learning experience and there is more involved than I have ever experienced at a church.  I am used to just walking in and having everything ready to go (or only a few things to set up) - no intensive work necessary.  Elevate Church is located in a local elementary school, so every Sunday morning dedicated folks come in to set up (and afterward tear down) everything to help make the worship experience meaningful.  The band comes in at 7 am to make sure their equipment and sound is perfect for the service, as well as sound and tech teams who help create the atmosphere for worship.  Soon after the other teams arrive to set up the other parts of the church (e.g. children's areas). 
    As with anything new, it's a learning process.  Part of this can be trial and error as we reach out to the City of Erie.  I'm finding it's easy to complain.  I don't like being up early to help set up - I don't like that my daughter's schedule is thrown off and Caleb is always looking for things to do until other children arrive - I'm not comfortable discussing my faith with strangers - I just want to sit in my own bubble and wait for God to bless me - It makes for a long day - I don't like sharing my husband's time at home with his desire to practice and play with the worship band.  (You may laugh at how silly all of this sounds, but at one time or another this has run through my head.)
     The reality is:  it isn't about me.  I want to make church about me.  Church is about sharing Jesus.  I need to show the people around me He loves them - every day and I need to do it without complaining.  It's so easy to pick apart those elements of the church that aren't working in my favor, but what I really need to do is make them positive.  I can't expect things to change if I'm not willing to change as well.  It's important that I stay open minded and focused so there isn't an opportunity to lose sight of what Elevate is really about.

Today...

is my 30th birthday!  My friend Angela took me out for the mouth watering confection that is pictured above (Bacon Maple donut - imagine the Homer Simpson drool moment).  As we were talking about our milestone birthdays I mentioned that I'm happy where I am at this point in my life.  I realized how true it really was, especially when I think back to the way I "planned" my life.  I wanted to go to college - check.  I wanted my Master's degree before I married - check.  I wanted to get married - check.  Children were there too - double check.  I've learned a lot, mostly that life is what you make it.  If I spend all of my time focused on what is negative or what is eventually going to leave me empty - that's who I will become.  The other lesson I've learned is that God has great things for you.  I can't tell you the number of times that I've messed up my life, and at times, the lives of others.  Yet, God has handed me blessing after blessing.  That doesn't mean the rain doesn't fall; but He will be what I need when it storms.  So here's to 30 and the hope for another year full of great things!

It's been awhile...

     Well, I'm finally back to blogging!  It has been months, but with all that has happened I figured it could be excused!  I am a mom!  I had my daughter in December and it was one of the most amazing and crazy experiences of my life.  I'm so thankful that I was able to avoid a c-section, but a little overwhelmed by what pitocin can do!  I did break down and have an epidural in the end, but I needed sleep so bad at that point I wasn't going to fight it!   

     Our house has been in chaos since and I'm finally back to finding time for me somewhere in the madness of this wonderful life I have.